What's my identity?Mar 04, 2023
We all have tremendous power to influence our identity!
You are special, you are loved, you are needed, you are wanted, you are cherished, you are amazing, you are awesome – this world needs you – NOW, your challenge is to start believing this!
I love getting feedback on what you find valuable in these blogs, and a few have said that the content often takes more than a week to settle in and test out, so I will be changing the frequency to bi- weekly (every 2 weeks) starting this week. If you have any other feedback, please let me know by contacting me at [email protected]
I ended last week by saying that the kind of person other people perceive us to be, controls their responses to us - sometimes, after making a positive change (especially relevant to those trying to recover from some bad habits), we often allow others in our environment who have not changed their image of us, to anchor our own emotions and beliefs back into our old behaviour and identities - (who are the people you spend most time with and are they empowering or disempowering?)
“I’m just this way” - needs to be removed from our vocabulary as it is a phrase which stops dreams:
A person who believes they have developed a drug addiction can clearly change - difficult, but a change can happen, however a person who believes themself to be a drug addict will usually return to the use of drugs even after a few weeks or months of abstinence - because they believe that is who they are – the same stands true for any destructive habit or addiction.
Once we have a conviction about anything, we will ignore and even defend against any evidence to the contrary and not believe that I can change long term. This often then leads to blaming “the addictive habit” on “who they are’ instead of facing the reality that taking drugs is a conscious decision each and every time
As we develop new beliefs about who we are, our behaviour will change to support the new identity - often if recovery has failed before, it is because the change we have wanted has been different to the belief about how we are
What is your new identity - who are you?
What will it look & feel like, who will you tell to keep you accountable? If you are struggling to break a bad habit or addiction, we should stop calling ourselves an addict / recovering addict and instead call ourselves what we really are and unrelated to our bad habit or addiction as the habit or addiction is just the outworking of our pain
Will you indulge me to tell you who you are – you are special, you are loved, you are needed, you are wanted, you are cherished, you are amazing, you are awesome – this world needs you – NOW, your challenge is to start believing this!
I wanted to talk for a few moments directly to those struggling with breaking a bad habit:
Now that we have a stronger view of our identity, we know that we are ‘someone who struggles with a bad habit or addiction’ rather than being an addict or bad person. So when the habit or addiction tries to tempt us, we can confidently say “I’m not that kind of person, that’s who I used to be.
So, when we get triggered, for example to drink too much, watch some porn, binge-watch Netflix, work too much, snort some cocaine (insert relevant bad habit), we can confidently say “no, you might need to watch some porn, but I don't, because I don't watch that stuff anymore, so back off”, or when the addiction voice says “you need to drink yourself to oblivion”, we can confidently say “No, I don't need to drink myself to oblivion as I don't do that anymore, so back off”
You, are not an addict, that is NOT your identity – what would it take for you to start to believe this?
For those of you who have a faith in God (or those who don't), why not read Ephesians 1-2 which tells you all about who you are. I have also attached a link to a lovely part of a movie where someone suddenly realises who they are in God - Ask me who I am
Taking action to confirm your identity:
I would like you write your new identity in the form of a power statement which defines your purpose and your identity – write down what you are all about
Let me give you mine as an example “I passionately look for and find opportunities for adventure, growth and contribution whilst increasing my wealth with integrity” – and my overriding purpose in life is “to help people develop themselves and become the best person they can be”
Start using this to guide what you spend time doing and what you focus on going forwards – notice there is nothing in here about bad habits or addiction, there is nothing negative in here, just stuff that guides my everyday living
Start to visualise your new identity and purpose statement
To help you think about this, picture your future self in 5 years’ time, what are you doing, what have you achieved, who are you with, where are you in the world, how are you contributing to society, how are you helping people – keep a notepad or phone close to you over the next few days as you will find that once you have set your mind to this task, you will keep noticing things, and keep adding to your power statement as it will take a few goes.
What about writing it in a reminder so each day, possibly multiple times each day, you are reminded about this
Are you feeling overwhelmed, struggling with your identity or finding a way to reset and break out of the same old habits?
Now is the time to take action and make a change! Purchase my course, The 28-Day Reset Challenge, and get the tools and resources you need to reset your life and reach your goals. 28-Day RESET Challenge
The 28-Day Reset Challenge offers the following benefits:
- A step-by-step guide to help you reset your life, take control of your mind, get clarity on your purpose, and get rid of the stuff holding you back
- Actionable insights to restore your relationships
- Access to exclusive resources and tools
- Support from a community of like-minded individuals
Here's what others have said - This course is fantastic / it's full of wisdom that helped to shift my mindset around my deeply held limiting beliefs / working with Jules and The Reset Challenge has literally saved my life / I’ve gained tools, ideas and motivation / every day I uncover and learn more / I’m starting to live again, instead of just existing / as each session completes, I am connecting more dots in my life / the content is so valuable.
Take action now and purchase The 28-Day Reset Challenge - 28-Day RESET Challenge.
Thanks, to your freedom and success
Founder, The RESET Challenge
Would you like to learn more about the 28-Day RESET Challenge?